“In life, it’s not where you go –

it’s who you travel with.” ~ Charles M. Shulz

** Note:  You can also read Dr. Mara’s blog on Medium.

While in the midst of advocating for my mom, with her doctors, and when she was residing in a nursing home, there were times when things became extremely challenging. It sometimes felt like another full-time job on top of my regular work. Often, people would fawn over how much attention I gave to my mom, making it seem as if this was a heavy burden and were concerned that I put aside my own needs.

However, these comments always confused me. It felt as if some people, although praising me, really didn’t see me. They didn’t recognize that my relationship with my mom was so precious to me that every single moment of the time we spent together, including the rougher times of health crises or dealing with nursing home frustrations, was a moment I promised to carry in my heart. This is a way I could bring some warmth when Mom was no longer here. I felt incredibly grateful for the opportunity to do whatever I could to help her, whenever she needed it. I’m aware that I’m lucky to have had that sort of relationship with my mom.

On Mother’s Day this month, the second Mother’s Day without my mom, a memory that demonstrates the preciousness of our relationship and the joy she brought to my life, came to mind.

Just about two summers ago, my partner and I traveled to North Carolina from Austin. On the way back, we drove through Hot Springs, Arkansas, where crystals grow right out of the ground. We intentionally took that route so that we could dig up some crystals to take home. There’s a crystal mine there, where we paid a fee, and then were given a bag to collect our treasures. We also purchased some additional tools from them, as we didn’t happen to have the necessary digging implements.

We were then sent to a hill of red, muddy dirt to chop away. Anything we dug up was ours to take home. As we headed to the mine, alerts blared on all of the phones around us, warning of a thunderstorm headed our way. We moved very quickly to hunt as many crystals as we could before we had to leave to avoid the storm. Luckily, however, the storm took a different route, and this gave us extra time to pick some beautiful, huge crystals growing out of what otherwise looked like plain brown rocks.

When we finally moved here to North Carolina, we lugged heavy boxes of rocks with us. Now, every time I see those large, dark brown rocks with sparkling bright crystals growing out of the tops, right next to our back steps, I think of Mom. You see, I had a standing Zoom appointment with Mom every afternoon at the same time. That appointment time came around while we were standing near the car in the parking lot of the crystal mine.

My phone rang, and Mom was on the other end, asking if I was ready to Zoom. And I was. I had a sufficient cell signal to support the Zoom app on my phone. Standing there, with red dirt under my nails and smudges on my cheeks, with my phone camera first pointed at our booty in the trunk of the car and then at the mine, moving in a semicircle for a panoramic view, Mom got to enjoy our treasure hunt.

Just about six months prior, my partner and I took a road trip from Austin to Los Angeles. Mom was with us then, as well. During our three-day drive in each direction, we attempted to be in an area with adequate cell coverage at the time of our scheduled Zooms each day so that Mom could see the scenery.

The best Zoom encounter we had was when we reached the town of Quartzsite, Arizona, which, as you might have assumed from its name, is known for the quartz crystals that grow out of the ground. It’s a small desert town located right off Interstate Highway 10, which cuts across the U.S. Quartzsite has a street lined with stores selling beautiful quartz crystals, Native American jewelry, artwork, and crafts by local artists. There, we found a great little shop. When we were done shopping, it was Zoom time. Perfect.

After taking my iPad from the car, I went back into the store, holding it so that Mom could see all of the beautiful jewelry, rocks, and the guys working there, who all waved to her, shouting out “Hi Mom!” Mom smiled from ear to ear. She thoroughly enjoyed that road trip, and I equally enjoyed having Mom there with me. It felt as though she were with me throughout our travels, always in my pocket.

Now that Mom’s no longer here in body, I still sometimes feel like I have her in my pocket, enjoying the scenery of my life with me. Mom always was an awesome travel companion.

You can read similar blogs by Dr. Mara at her website, where you can also listen to her internet radio show, now also on Apple Podcasts. Check out Dr. Mara’s internationally best-selling book, The Passionate Life: Creating Vitality & Joy at Any Age, now available on Audible in addition to digital and paperback. And be sure to follow her on Facebook for all the latest news!