Note: You can also read Dr. Mara’s blog on Medium.
“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
both are transformed.” ~ Carl Jung
If we are on social media or watch any news outlet, we will see a very divided nation and quite a bit of anger directed toward each other. We know it’s really happening when we go out into the world, with people cutting us off on the road or yelling at each other at supermarkets. I, myself, had a horrible experience with angry strangers at the Department of Motor Vehicles a few days ago. Many people were stressed and angry with strangers that they perceived as causing them even more of an inconvenience than they might had already been experiencing. At the DMV, people were legitimately frustrated because the lines were long, and those helping us appeared to lack training in customer service. They also seemed unable to transmit the correct information about what was needed, so that we could do what we were there to do. Anger flared when someone believed anyone else might be getting an extra couple of minutes of help or had a question that they ran back in to ask.
But a couple of weeks ago, I saw a different side to this.
I took a trip to a little town far from home for a few days. And I discovered that, when people were relaxed on a beautifully sunny day, walking through a park and looking at artwork displayed by local artists, there was a camaraderie I hadn’t experienced with strangers in a long while. Even on the long train ride to my destination, Savanah, Georgia, I had the opportunity to meet and chat with strangers who were more than willing to share about their own lives and wondered about mine. No one was racing around or was stressed. We were just sitting and letting the scenery go by for a few hours. There was time to be curious about each other. That experience nourished my soul.
Humans are social creatures. We need each other, even if we sometimes believe that we can do it all alone. Meeting new and friendly strangers and discussing artwork, food, music, and life experiences that weekend gave me hope. I came back from my trip feeling much more optimistic about the world. It may seem that everyone is just out for themselves and will throw a stranger under the bus at any opportunity, especially if we are isolated at home, watching the news or scrolling through our phones. But, while that is one reality, there is also the reality of humans who care about others and are open, and even longing, to connect with new people.
In my blog, “The Power of Social Connection,” I told the story about my mom moving into a nursing home at age 92 and finding a group of friends, whom she met with daily. My mom’s connections with this group, as was her genuine interest in the lives of some of the staff members, were what gave my mom joy in her life, even while dealing with physical issues and her loss of independence. I believe it was one of the main factors in my mom’s ability to maintain her quality of life for two years of nursing home life, which is often less than ideal.
I believe that creating such connections with others, even connections that may only last for the length of a train ride, a conversation while standing in line at the store, or while enjoying artwork together on a beautiful day in a park, are what can save us as a society. I have written many times about the importance of compassion in order to create true and lasting passion in our lives…and how it is only with compassion that we can save this stressed out world.
But how can we grow such compassion while watching people fighting on our screens,
keeping our distance from strangers, and believing that it’s us against the world?
It’s not likely to grow our compassion and more likely to grow the divisiveness that is tearing us apart. The answer to blossoming our own compassion and fostering such compassion with others is simply to find ways to connect with people outside of our own circle, to spend time in places we don’t usually go, to talk to the stranger waiting for the train or bus or in line at the store…or even the DMV. These small connections with strangers will remind us that we are all connected, and there really is no such thing as a “stranger,” just someone whom we’ve never met before.
You can read similar blogs by Dr. Mara at her website, where you can also listen to her internet radio show, now also on Apple Podcasts. Check out Dr. Mara’s internationally best-selling book, The Passionate Life: Creating Vitality & Joy at Any Age, now available on Audible in addition to digital and paperback. And be sure to follow her on Facebook for all the latest news!
